"Face God instead of Facebook.” – Hannah Jung, northside roommate
GOD AND SEX
Why does God care about what happens between the sheets? Why would this even matter to God? These are the kinds of things we talked about in week two of our Discipleship Training School (DTS) lectures.
Randy Jackson led us into a series of lectures titled Kingdom Sexuality. At the core of his message is a call to change our world and he believes one of the most profound ways to change the core of society is through marriage. The center of many of today’s social issues - human trafficking and prostitution – comes back to sex. Study after study shows that how we relate to the opposite sex is reflected on how we relate to our mothers and fathers and how our parents relate to one another.
Before I go any further, I should mention something in the talk What about sex? by Erwin McManus. McManus says, “Historically, Christians have been arrogant, judgmental and condemning of people about these issues. However, the most difficult, intense, and confronting conversations in the bible are directed towards those who identify themselves as His people. So if you are [reading] this and do not identify yourself as a follower of Christ then all you need to know is that God passionately and unconditionally loves you. However, if you have entered into a relationship with God then you have to begin to grapple with how God sees you and designed you and what that means for your life”.
When you enter into a relationship with God, God will change you from the inside out. In your freedom, you will begin to live out how God created you to live. So what is God’s picture of sexuality? How has God designed us to relate? What does God think about how a marriage should look like? What does God think about sex before marriage, homosexuality, and pornography?
After doing some of your own praying, thinking, and research you may agree with Jackson that to change our world, we need to change our society’s perception of marriage. Jackson wants to counteract the sexual revolution Kinsey started; Jackson wants to start a Sexual Reformation – if you have skills in film, new media, or website design you can contact Kenny at info@kingdomsexuality.com. If you do not have these skills, but what to get involved in the reformation, the best things you can do is simply honor and respect the ideals of love and commitment in marriage.
Links:
Setting Captives Free: www.settingcaptivesfree.com
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More notes on God and Sex:
An excerpt from What about Sex? by Erwin McManus:
“Historically, Christians have been arrogant, judgmental and condemning of people about these issues. However, the most difficult, intense, and confronting conversations in the bible are directed towards those who identify themselves as His people. So if you are reading this and do not identify yourself as a follower of Christ then all you need to know is that God passionately and unconditionally loves you. However, if you have entered into a relationship with God then you have to begin to grapple with how God sees you and designed you and what that means for your life.
In order to engage in a conversation of why God should care about morality, about our sexual activity, we have to understand that God created everything as a moral universe and God created everything in relation to one another. God created us as an expression of His character, of His essence as God - the relational God, the God who is love. Your relationship with God has a direct correlating effect of how you treat people. As you connect to God it changes how you value people. As you connect to God, people become the highest value, the highest priority. At the same time, the way you treat people is the only true evidence of whether you actually connect to God. As we severe our relationship with God, we begin to severe our relationship with humanity … God says this is the true evidence of your relationship with me: How you care and love other human beings - if you love me then love each other. The central principle of the universe and the mind and heart of God is how we treat each other. God doesn’t need our worship. He is not a dysfunctional divine diva. He says, if you love me then love one another. …
If you’ve met God, there is going to be a transformation inside of you. It is said in the scriptures that two will become one body. When you are joined with Lord you are in one spirit. Your body are parts of Christ. When you enter into a relationship with God, everything that you do, you bring Christ in. Everything you experience, you bring that experience with God. You are the most sacred creation of God. You are the temple of God’s spirit… You are bought by God for a price, so honor your God with your bodies. You may want to think of yourself as an animal, but the scriptures won’t let you think that way. God looks at you and declares you to be created in his image and likeness. He declares you to be your ultimate creation. You are to be the most beautiful expression of who he is”.
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Kingdom Sexuality – Randy Jackson
- A Kingdom is a monarchy government. The Kingdom of God is wherever it is welcomed. In Luke 17:21 it says that the kingdom of God is within you.
- Is there one biblical standard for how society should function sexually? Matthew 19:5, Mark 10:6-9, 1 Corinthians 6:16, and Ephesians 5:31
Matthew 19:5, 1 Corinthians 6:16, and Ephesians 5:31 all refer back to the beginning of time in Genesis 2:24 “A man leaves his mother and father and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh”.
- Pattern of the world: Individualism, Independence. This is also reflected in the church. ex: “Jesus is MY personal savior”. We lead INDIVIDUALS to the Lord.
Pattern of the Kingdom: Connection to family and community. Leading FAMILIES to the Lord. Joshua 24:15; somewhere in Acts: Believe and you and your household will be saved.
- Is sex a need? Sex is needed to continue the human race, but is it a basic human need like food, water, shelter, oxygen? If it is a need, then one is justified to do whatever one can to get it. Sex is a privilege, a gift, not a need.
- 50% of marriages end in divorce. We don’t know how to commit. Our society conditions us to no absolute truth, no need to commit. Malachi 2:6 “I hate divorce” says the Lord – New American Standard Version. Why does God hate divorce: Malachi 2:15.
What Jesus says about divorce: Matthew 19:3-10
- How did the world’s sexual culture get to where it is today?
o Roaring 20’s: Generally, the norm of people’s sexual philosophy adhered to the bible.
o 60’s: Woodstock. Music, love, drugs, anarchy for 1 week.
o 70’s: More sex = more babies. Birth pills came into the market. Abortions made available. Pro-rights.
o 80’s & 90’s: Homosexuality; coming out of the closet. “Philadelphia” – first time in a movie where the protagonist was a homosexual.
- Hugh Hefner – playboy magazine
- Larry Flint – Hustler. Sexual philosophy: it is a bad thing nto suppress ourselves. It is normal to cheat. Signed a deal with 7 Eleven to sell pornography magazines, before this deal pornography was underground.
- Dr. Judith Reisman wrote a book called Sexual Sabotage. www.drjudithreisman.com
Since the 60’s there has been an exponential spike in sexual crimes. Her conclusion is b/c of the Kinsey Report and the rise of pornography.
- Hebrews 13:4
- Rutgers Univeresity study on Cohabitation and Marriage found that “Moreover, children living in cohabiting unions are at higher risk of sexual abuse and physical violence, including lethal violence, than are children living with married parents.” http://www.smartmarriages.com/cohabit.html
- In order to change the world, we need to change how we do marriage.
The World
Nations
States/Provinces
Communities
Families
Individuals
*Marriage
- Train individuals in the ways of the Lord and they will not depart from it
- Strengthen our commitment muscles. If we can not keep a small promise, how can we keep the lifetime commitment to marriage?
- If you say ‘I’m going to keep my word’ to something – be expected to be tested. God will be training you to be keeping your commitments.
- Three parts to a marriage: The guy, the girl, and the marriage/relationship. The marriage is a living, breathing thing.
- The Marriage Fuel Guage: Marriage needs to be fueled up like a car. If the fuel runs out from a car, you don’t throw out the car away. You refill the car with fuel. You don’t throw out the car b/c the car still has value.
- This may sound narrow minded, but it says the gospel will seem foolish.
- Do you know everything? Is it possible that God is in the realm of everything you don’t know?
8 Steps towards Sexual Sin
(Magnet, Metal Illustration – as you get closer, your decision can overtake you)
1) 1) Attraction – We see and we like what we see. (By the way attraction doesn’t go away when you get married. You can still sin. Attraction doesn’t have to be sin. Lust is sin. Lust is when we see and we like what we see and we let our imagination take over.
1) 2) We choose to engage in casual communication or conversation with the person we’re attracted to.
S.U.D. Seemingly Unimportant Decisions
2) 3) We choose to spend time together publicly (People that you know are around the both of you)
3) 4) We agree/decide to spend exclusive time alone together. (is it sin? – not necessarily. Is it wise? – not necessarily.)
A disciple isn’t someone who bases their decision on ‘what is sin’, instead they base their decision on ‘what is wise’
4) 5)We communicate or somehow confirm our attraction for each other: “I love you”. We tell others that “We are officially boyfriend/girlfriend”. We decide to act on our mutual desire for touching and closeness (handholding, shoulder draping, hugging)
5) 6) We choose to agree to act on our mutual desire for more intimate touching (kissing, caressing, petting)
6) 7) A switch inside both people takes place in which arousal begins to lead our actions more than reason and rationale. Hormones and sexual response reflexes are now (almost) in total control of our behavior. Stopping at this point is not impossible but extremely difficult, unnatural and frustrating. Something in our mind says, “Well, we’ve gone this far, we might as well go all the way.”
7) 8) We go all the way. Sexual intercourse. (If stopping at step 7 was difficult, un-natural, and frustrating, stopping here is as close to impossible as you are likely to get).
* A Kingdom is connected to community. (Acts 5. Ananaias and Zepheriaph) If the church was corrupt at the very beginning, do you think the gospel will be here today?
- What you do has a spiritual impact on the body of Christ
- Psalm 133. Blessing of unity
- make a choice of what team you want to be on
- “Hold every thought captive to the obedience of Christ”
- Our society constantly reinforces self-focus
RISKS OF SEXUAL SIN:
- Sexually Transmitted Disease (STD)
From webmd.com
From webmd.com
By age 25 if you are sexually active, you will have an STD
Many STDs can be passed from mother to child during birth.
- HPV (Genital Warts)
- Pubic Lice (Crabs) – condoms cannot protect against this
- Scabies – tiny mites that burrows into human skin to lay eggs. Not always transmitted sexually.
- Gonorrhea – spreads easily and can lead to infertility in men and women if untreated. Often there are no early symptoms.
- Syphillis – without treatment leads to paralysis, blindness, death
- Chlamydia – symptoms are vague/absent. If untreated, leads to infertility
- Herpes simples virus I – spread through kissing. Can be spread to genitals. Not always transmitted sexually.
- Herpes simplex virus 2 – highly contagious, spread through intercourse, no cure
- Hepatits B – spread through blood/bodily fluids. No cure.
- HIV/AIDS – spread through sex, infected needles, infected mothers(there is medicine that can be prevented if administered at birth).
- Trichomoniasis – caused by a parasite that spreads during sexual conduct
- Chancroid – common in Africa and Asia. Spread through contact with sores on an infected genitals
- Lymphogranuloma Venereum (LGV) – type of Chlamydia
- Pelvic Inflammatory Diseases – not technically a STD. Untreated Chlamydia/gonorehea
PORNOGRAPHY
Definition of addiction: the state of being enslaved to a habit or practice or to something that is psychologically or physically habit forming, as narcotics, to such an extent that its cessation causes sever trauma
- Social Scientists argue if pornography is addictive
- Ecclesiastes 1:8 “the eye never has enough of seeing, nor the ear of hearing”
- Pornography promotes satisfaction that it can never deliver. A counterfeit of reality. An illusion. A 2-dimensional airbrushed, back-lit, silicon-enhanced portrayal of reality.
- Psalm 101:3
- photon: the smallest particle o flight. Light travels 186 000 miles per second.
- If your eyes are full of light, your whole body is full of light. *Light is physical
- Ephesians: Armor of God.
Defensive Weapons: helmet, breastplate (actions: not watching porn)
Offensive Weapons: sword of spirit (going to porn conventions and having a booth with t-shirts printed with “Jesus loves pornstars”
- San Fernando Valley, California: where the most porn is produced
PATHWAY TO FREEDOM
John 8:35-36
Two traps to be a slave to sin: as a 1)Victim/Target or as a 2) Pleasure Seeker
Victim/Target – became someone’s prey. Not a willing participant. Sex acts were forced on you. Introduced to sex in a violent way, at the wrong time and under the wrong circumstances
Response can be 1) ungodly or 2) godly
- Ungodly: Passive or Aggressive (controlling so nothing bad can happen again. Bypassing the help of the Lord. Hate the person/people who victimized you. Take out your pain on others. Hate God for not being there. Choose to become a pleasure seeker or victimizer yourself).
- godly: forgiveness. Matthew 6:14. Absolute, wholehearted, unconditional Romans 12:14. Your attitude is different, not going to hold it against you – “I’m going to release you and put it into God’s hands”. Forgiveness does not mean pardoning consequences, justice can still be done.
Pleasure Seeker – Driven or led by your desires and appetites. Your sexuality has been stimulated or awakened somehow. Exposure to porn. Masturbation. Some other non-married sexual experience.
Response can be 1) ungodly or 2)godly
- ungodly: when faced with temptation you usually choose to act out
- godly: know the TRUTH of the word of God
speak the TRUTH of the Word of God
True repentance: 2 Corinthians 7:10-11 1 John 1:9
kingdomsexuality.com
FOUR CORE NEEDS OF A WOMAN AND MAN
Woman:
1) She needs to feel loved – it has to touch her heart; a heart thing. Subconsciously, if someone of the opposite sex doesn’t love her, she starts thinking she isn’t valuable and starts thinking “I’m not pretty enough” and wants to do things like getting a nose job or breast implants
2) She needs to know she is cherished – a head thing. She knows there is lots of fish in the sea but she wants to know that she is the fish you want to be with.
3) Needs Confidence that her environment is safe and secure
4) She needs to know that her loved ones have what they need
- A girl should get these needs from her father who loves her mother.
- No man can meet all your four core needs all the time. Turn that search to God.
- Psalm 23
Man:
1) He needs a reliable, consistent male role model (needs good people to copycat early in life)
2) Consistent discipline and accountability in his life
3) He needs the appropriate respect of those around him
4) Mothering – knowing his mother loves him, knowing that his mother will do anything for him (ex. Mary searching for Jesus and found him at the temple), someone that supports him. If he doesn’t have that, he gets the wrong perspective women, sees women as a convenience.
- Isaiah 49:15
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